Jesse has already put up his own Father’s POV and there is no reason why I can’t do a Mother’s POV. Afterall, there is always two sides to every story. Since I’m just starting, I’m going to start at the beginning.

Pregnancy:
I had probably one of the easiest pregnancies. I never had any weird cravings, morning sickness was just a phrase that people said was associated with pregnancy, and I really didn’t have too many mood swings (although Jesse might disagree). I was a little thirstier than normal, ate a bit more frequently, and actually got some really good sleep. I never really felt pregnant until the last month and even then it was more of a “can we get this over with already”. So all in all, pregnancy definitely depends on the individual and their support person. I truly believe that I had such an easy time because Jesse was always there with me. He went to all the OB checkups, he made sure I ate and was taking care of myself, and was generally there when I needed him.

Labor & Delivery:
I don’t care what anyone says….labor is a pain in the ass. Granted, it’s what the entire 10 months are all for, but it’s still not what you’re expecting. You always hear/see stories of what happens when your water breaks, but honestly, the gushing affect only happens in about 2% of pregnant women (according to Doc Z). I was one of the lucky 2% and knew exactly when my water broke; especially considering I haven’t wet my pants in over 26 years. That’s what it is like. One minute you’re sitting on the couch watching the Sci-Fi channel and the next you’re running to the bathroom because you’ve just soaked the couch.

While I was probably in labor all day, I didn’t really start feeling it until that night when my water broke. Then it became the biggest pain in my back. Literally. Try having contractions every 2 minutes in the middle of your back and not being able to do anything to relieve the pain. I was so uncomfortable that it hurt to just sit still. I tried sitting up, laying down, standing, leaning on Jesse, everything and nothing worked until they told me I could have the epidural – and that’s when it got worse. Yes, the epidural is your friend, once it’s in. The anesthetist who was inserting the epidural tried about 10 times before he finally hit pay dirt. I wish I could say that he did it within a few minutes, but it took him over 30 minutes to find it and during the entire time I was still having contractions every 2 minutes. While he was working, I couldn’t move, even if a contraction was there. That made the labor pain even worse because I couldn’t alleviate it at all. Even though it was the worst part of labor (getting the epidural), once it was in, I was flying high. There was no pain, I could sleep, and Jesse was even able to play Diablo on his laptop. Pushing Ian out only took me about 45 minutes and it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. Of course, that was probably due to the epidural. Either way, make sure you want the epidural before you get it. Don’t get it just because it’s there and you “might” need it.

Do not be afraid of an episiotomy – it won’t hurt when they do it. Oh no, it’ll hurt once the epidural and painkillers wear off.

Recovery:
This is the point where Jesse’s POV picks up. I’ve been hearing a lot of how people have been hurt by his posts. All I can say is deal with it. I know he shouldn’t have singled anyone out and normally I would have caught that before it was up for so long; but seriously, have you tried watching your wife go through back labor and push a watermelon out of her butt while knowing there is nothing you can do to help her but be there. At the time Ian was born, both of us had been up for close to 24 hours. During the pregnancy classes, the instructor said one very important thing that neither Jesse nor I remembered at the time – don’t let family stay too long…they are not going to realize that you’re tired because they are concentrating on the new addition. My family should know me by now and that fact that I won’t kick them out if they are there. Especially if they drove a long way, but honestly, how could people think that Jesse and I wouldn’t be exhausted and wouldn’t want to sleep. It doesn’t take a mind reader to know that after 24 hours of labor, delivery, and recovery, that a person might want to sleep. If you couldn’t tell by now, I’m saying my husband was completely right in everything he said in his posts. Looking back, we should have kicked people out sooner than what we did and that is our fault. But at the same time, remember when it’s your turn to have a baby – you’re not going to be up for entertaining people while they see the baby, so don’t even try.

A Newborn:
I don’t care what people say…living with a newborn is not the single most wondrous experience of a person’s life. It can be sheer hell. New parents have it made the first couple of days because they are in the hospital and have the nursing staff there to help; but once you get the little bundle of joy home, the gloves come off. Crying and sleeping are all they do the first couple of days because they are still trying to get used to their bodies in the open air. They won’t sleep through the night and trying to get them to go back to sleep can be frustrating. It’s not as easy as everyone says. All the stories you hear only highlight the positive and minor setbacks, but those stories are only about 20% of the whole experience. Think about everything anyone has ever said to you about a baby, then double it and then quadruple it and then you’ll have the truth. Don’t get me wrong, having a child is a wondrous experience, just not right away. The lack of sleep and frustration of trying to read your baby’s cries will mount up and slowly take you over. There will come a time when you’ll need to breakdown and admit “what the hell have I done” before it’s going to get better. I’m only in week three of Ian’s life and it is obviously getting better; but I have had one breakdown and I know there’ll be more. Your life will change, your routine will change; but in the end, everything will get back to normal and it’ll be worth it in the end. That is the single most important goal within the first few weeks of having a newborn – get through the first couple of months, get your child on a sleep schedule, and everything will be fine. If you don’t think like that, you’ll only get frustrated even more and will slowly drive yourself crazy.

With a newborn, there is always the chance of SIDS. Me, personally, I do not fear SIDS. If it is going to happen, it’ll happen. There is nothing I can do to prevent it from happening. There are things I can do, and I am doing, that lower the chance of it, but there is nothing out there that will prevent it. The one thing I do fear – living without Ian. No matter what we’re going through at the moment, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe a few more hours of sleep, but I wouldn’t give Ian up for anything. I don’t regret having him and I can’t wait until we get everything worked out.